No More Regrets
by shulesaddict77
Summary: One event can change your life forever. Remind you of the most important things in life. Show you that there is no time for fear. No time for trying to do the right thing instead of following your heart. Life is too short to have any regrets. (spoilers for 2x19 and 2x20) COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**This story includes spoilers for all upcoming episodes, especially for 2x19 and 2x20. So don't read it if you want to be surprised!**

**I know why I stopped reading spoilers. They are just making me super antsy and make me want to see all the episodes now and not wait for them for weeks. But I couldn't help myself and browsed through all of them today. **

**This build-up is going to drive me nuts and break my heart along the way. I wouldn't be surprised when I'll shed some tears when Nick and Jess finally admit their feelings to each other. Hopefully in the season finale. :-)**

**God, I've sworn myself I would never ever fall in love with a couple like that again after Mark and Lexie broke my shipper heart. But well, look at that, it happened again. Gaaaah! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own these wonderful characters or this awesome show!**

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**Chapter 1**

Jess was sitting in their favorite booth at Nick's bar, a glass of pink wine in front of her, listening with one ear to Schmidt and Winston's conversation while her eyes were searching for Nick behind the bar. They were still acting awkward around each other and Jess had asked herself a million times why they couldn't go back to normal.

As she was lying awake last night, mulling over it in her head, she suddenly found her answer and even though she should have known it all along it still hit her hard as the realization broke through. She couldn't go back to normal because the kiss had meant something. She should have listened to her body. It had just reacted and she had kissed him back. What was the saying? Actions said more than words ever could?

The kiss had meant something and she wanted more. It scared the crap out of her to even think about it but it was what it was. She wanted Nick. Now she just needed to find a way to tell him.

As she watched him behind the bar, a woman stepped up to him and Jess realized that this had to be the owner's daughter. Nick had told them about Shane. But he hadn't told them that she was drop-dead gorgeous. Jess' eyes narrowed as she saw how Shane trailed her fingers down Nick's arm, standing just a little too close for it to be a normal conversation and then Nick looked up at her, his mouth curving up in a smile and hot jealousy rushed through her. She was flirting with him and he flirted back. It shouldn't hurt so much. She didn't have any rights to be jealous. They weren't together. He could do whatever he wanted.

She was flirting with him. Nick was sure about that and he felt flattered. She was a beautiful woman. He knew it was a bad idea to sleep with your boss's daughter. Those things tended to blow up in your face. But he was tired. Tired of shoving the feelings he had towards Jess back into a dark corner, over and over again. Maybe having meaningless sex with a beautiful woman would cure him. The thing between Jess and him wasn't going anywhere. Thinking about having sex with her would just make the whole situation even more awkward. Yeah, maybe having sex with another woman would put her out of his mind.

~N&J~

Jess was sitting on the couch, her fingers curled around a glass of wine. She didn't know why she was waiting for him. She had seen the looks Shane and Nick had shared. She had given him a silent invitation and after all Nick was just a man. How could he refuse such an invitation? But Jess still had hope, a small part of her still hoped that he had turned her down, that he wouldn't sleep with her. So she was sitting on the couch, waiting for him to come home. Hoping he would come home alone.

As she heard the key at the door her heart jumped in anticipation but plummeted into her stomach as she heard Nick's deep laughter followed by the hoarse voice of a woman. He wasn't alone. He had brought her back with him.

As they stumbled into the loft, the woman clinging to his side, Jess drew in a shuddering breath and she felt a deep pain in her chest and almost could hear it as her heart broke. She was too late. He had forgotten about the kiss. The realization how much he meant to her had come to her too late. He was about to have sex with another woman.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she jumped up from the couch, rushing past the couple, mumbling under her breath. "Don't mind me. I'll get out of your hair."

Nick looked after her, uncertainty slithering through him. For one second he'd thought he'd detected real pain flashing up in Jess' eyes as if showing up with another woman had hurt her feelings. Shaking his head, he turned back to the woman in his arms. Jess didn't want him. Seeing something in her eyes that just wasn't there was just a figment of his imagination. Just wishful thinking. Jess didn't care if he had sex with anyone else.

~N&J~

The next morning Nick accompanied Shane to the door, giving her a quick kiss before he let her out and strode towards the kitchen island where Jess and Winston were sitting, drinking their respective morning beverages. Winston his coffee that contained more sugar than coffee and Jess one of her herbal teas. Walking to the coffee pot, he poured himself a cup, almost spilling it all over his hand as Winston smacked a hand on his back.

"Wow, man. Sex with the daughter of your boss? How courageous! So, how was it?"

"Well, ..." Nick started, feeling uncomfortable to say anything in Jess' presence. She hadn't looked up yet, she hadn't even answered his grumbled good-morning greeting. She wasn't angry with him, was she?

"It's okay, Nick. You don't need to tell us. I'm sure it was great." Winston continued, unaware of the unusual silence of their other roommate. Nick thought he could see Jess flinch as she heard Winston's comment. Had he really hurt her by sleeping with another woman?

"I need to go to the gym." Winston said. "But good for you. It was about time for you to get some action."

Winston grabbed his sports bag and walked out of the loft, the click of the door reverberating through the eerily quiet apartment. Nick walked to the kitchen island, leaning his arms on it and said quietly. "Jess? Everything okay?"

"I have to go." Jess replied without looking at him. Standing up, she walked over to the sink and emptied the rest of her tea before she put the mug down carefully, the urge to smash it against his head almost overwhelming.

"Jess?" Nick asked again, lifting his hand to put it on her shoulder, jumping back when she swatted his hand away and turned around, her face contorted with anger.

"I bet you didn't get much sleep last night." Her voice was like a slap in the face and Nick took another step back, afraid that she would hit him any second. "You might wanna crawl back into bed and have some wet dreams."

"Jess, I'm sorry." Nick said apologetically. He didn't want to hurt her. But if he was honest, maybe a small part of him had hoped it would affect her if she would see him with another woman. But he should have probably thought it through more thoroughly. Because she was clearly hurt.

"What are you sorry about?" Jess snapped. "You had sex with a beautiful woman. I don't care. "

"Then why are you acting so weird?" Nick asked, suddenly getting angry with her. "You insisted that the kiss didn't mean anything." His voice grew louder and louder and he stepped closer, grabbing her arms and shaking her slightly. "Did you think I would be celibate for the rest of my life? I'm a man, Jessica. I can't be celibate."

"Of course." Jess scoffed, her face coming dangerously close to his as she hissed. "Just stick it into every woman that comes along your way."

"I can't believe it." Nick shouted. " Are you jealous, Jess?"

"Jealous? I?" Jess exclaimed, pushing his hands away. "Of course not. Why should I be jealous? I bet your abilities in bed are just mediocre, judging by the sloppy kiss you gave me."

"The kiss wasn't sloppy and you know it." Nick gritted out through clenched teeth. "I'm a rocket in bed, Jessica. No woman ever leaves my bed unsatisfied."

"A rocket? Please!" Jess replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Don't over exaggerate like that, Nicholas. You know, women are very good at faking orgasms."

"When I take a woman into my bed she doesn't need to fake anything." Nick shouted, his voice suddenly becoming dangerously low as he continued. "But you will never find out, Mrs. Day. Because I will never sleep with you. Even if you would drop on your knees in front of me and beg me to stick it to you."

"Beg you?" Jess replied, her voice shaking with hardly suppressed anger. "Are you out of your freaking mind, Mr. Miller? I would never want to sleep with you. Never."

"Great. Then that's settled." Nick snapped.

"Fine." Jess exclaimed. Turning sharply around, she stomped to her room, slamming the door shut behind her, leaving a fuming Nick behind.

~N&J~

Jess had paced through her room for over an hour but she couldn't calm down. She was furious. Furious with him for sleeping with another woman, furious with him for putting these unwanted pictures in her head. Pictures of him satisfying her. His hands on her body, showing her how well he could satisfy a woman. She knew he would be good in bed. Of course he would. Someone who could kiss like that couldn't be anything else than fantastic in bed. But as he told her, she would never find out and the fact that she wanted to find out how good he was in bed made her even angrier.

She needed to blow off some more steam and there was no better way than to shout at him some more. Jess yanked her door open and stormed over to his room, yanking his door open as well without bothering to knock.

"You know what, Nick? I really don't care. You can sleep with whoever you want. Because the kiss didn't mean anything. Nothing at all. So you can just ..." Jess stopped in mid-sentence as she looked up for the first time since she started her rant and saw Nick's ashen face. He was lying on his bed, staring motionlessly at the wall, his hands balled into fists beside his body.

"Nick? What happened?"

Slowly he turned his head towards her and Jess' heart constricted painfully in her chest as she saw the pain settled deep in his eyes. She rushed forward and sat down beside him, grabbing his hand and squeezed it hard. "What is it, Nick?" Jess said quietly, wanting nothing more than to hug him tightly but she didn't know if her comfort would be welcomed.

"My dad ..." Nick said quietly and Jess dug her fingers into his skin. His face already told her what he would say next. "... he died this morning."

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**As you can see, I'm not finished with this story. I really didn't want to start a new story but like I said the spoilers are driving me nuts. So, I need an outlet for my antsyness. **

**I know Jess finding out about Shane and Nick won't happen like this. I altered it a little bit because I wanted them to deny that they have feelings for each other for a little bit longer and of course I let them have one of their shouting matches. I just love when they are shouting at each other! Maybe because it reminds me of the infamous shouting matches between David and Maddie from '**_Moonlighting_**'. I loved this show!**


	2. Chapter 2

**If you expect a fluffy story you better turn around. I'm not gonna write a funny story when the main topic is the death of Nick's dad. There are gonna be some light moments but the rest is mostly angst. Every comedy can get away with a more serious episode once in a while and I really hope, actually expect, that this is gonna be one of those. I would be extremely disappointed if that isn't the case. I expect that the comedic part of the episode is the introduction of Nick's weird family but I sincerely hope that we see him actually be affected by the death and Jess supporting him every step of the way!**

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**Chapter 2**

"I'm so sorry, Nick." Forgotten was the fight they had an hour ago, it seemed silly in light of the bad news Nick had received.

"It was a heart attack. Mum said he was sitting at the breakfast table and suddenly pressed his hand against his chest. The ambulance was too late, the EMT's couldn't get it beating again." Nick told her, his voice strangely monotone. He was clearly still in shock.

"Can I do anything for you? Do you want some tea?"

"I would prefer a beer." Nick said quietly.

"Sure." Squeezing his hand once more, Jess stood up and turned towards the door. Biting her lip, she refrained from giving him a lecture about drinking beer at ten o'clock in the morning as she looked at him over her shoulder. "Do you want me to look for flights?"

"Flights? Right. I need a flight."

"Why don't you let me do it and you are gonna start packing?"

"Okay. Thanks, Jess."

The moment she closed the door behind her, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and texted Schmidt, Winston and Cece before she went to the refrigerator to get Nick's beer.

_Emergency meeting ASAP. Nick's dad died. Heart attack._

Schmidt was the first to arrive and Jess pointed towards the room. She'd given Nick some privacy, not wanting to hover over him. She was browsing through flight offers right now, trying to find an affordable flight as soon as possible.

Schmidt stayed with Nick for a few minutes before he joined her in the living room. "Do you think he wants us to go with him? Because I can take a few days off if he needs us."

Jess had never seen him so serious. No weird comments, no outbursts, no scolding. The worry about Nick was written all over his face and she grabbed his hand, saying softly. "I don't know, Schmidt. We are gonna ask him as soon as everyone is here."

Cece and Winston arrived a few minutes later, Winston hurrying immediately to Nick's room while Cece sat down beside Jess. "How is he doing?"

"I think he might still be in shock. I don't think he already realized that he will never see his dad again."

"Yeah, I know how that feels. It takes time to process it. But unfortunately the shock state doesn't last forever. He is gonna need you when he comes out of it."

"I'm not going anywhere." Jess replied firmly.

"Schmidt, are you okay?" Cece asked, looking past Jess to fix her gaze on him. He hadn't said a word since she had entered the apartment, what was completely un-Schmidt like.

"I'm not the one who lost his father." Schmidt said quietly, shaking his head. "I don't know what I can do. I feel so helpless."

"Just be there for him, Schmidt. That's all he needs from you. He needs his best friend."

"I can do that." Schmidt said, straightening up, his face lightening up a little.

"I know." Cece said softly before she turned her head and looked at the laptop, sitting on the table. "You are trying to find a flight?"

"Yes. But so far I didn't have much luck." Jess replied.

"Let me make a call. I have a friend who owns a private jet. Let me see if we can borrow it. He owes me a favor anyway."

"A private jet? That would be great. Thank you."

As Winston came out of Nick's room a few minutes later he was accompanied by Nick who looked as if he could collapse any second. Cece stood up and walked over to him, engulfing him in a hug which Nick reciprocated a little awkwardly. "I'm so sorry, Nick."

"Thanks, Cece." Nick replied with a hollow voice, plopping down on the couch next to Jess. "Any luck?" He gestured with the bottle of beer towards the screen.

Jess just shook her head and Cece interjected. "I'm on it. Just let me make a call."

Silence fell over the loft, only disturbed by Cece talking in a hushed voice into her phone and Winston's deeper voice talking to Nick's boss in the kitchen. Jess was sitting next to Nick on the couch but she didn't know what to say, so she lifted her hand and put it on Nick's shoulder and he turned his head, giving her a sad smile. Raising his hand, he covered hers and squeezed it gently, his fingers brushing over hers. Jess felt a tingling sensation in her hand where his fingers touched her skin and she was actually glad as Cece addressed Nick and he looked away.

"Nick, how soon can you be ready?"

"About thirty minutes, I guess." Nick replied and Cece turned back to her phone conversation. "Greg, if it would be ready for take-off in about an hour that would be great." Cece was listening for a few second before a smile appeared on her face. "Yes. Thank you so much, Greg."

As she ended the call Nick looked up at her slightly confused and asked. "What was that about?"

"I managed to get you a flight on a private jet. The flight leaves in about an hour."

"You managed to get me a flight on a private jet?" Nick asked, completely baffled.

"It's not a big deal, Nick. A friend owed me a favor. I'm just cashing it in."

"Thank you. I really appreciate it. Thank you very much."

"Your boss gave you the rest of the week off, Nick." Winston said, joining them in the living room after he just got off the phone with Nick's boss. "He said you can have more time off if you need it. He sends his condolences."

"Thanks for taking care of that, Winston."

"Of course, Nick. Whatever you need."

"Thanks, guys." Nick said and stood up from the couch. "I'm gonna go finish packing now."

When he came back into the living room about twenty minutes later they all looked up at him with an expectant expression on their faces and Nick stopped dead in his tracks, wondering what they were expecting from him.

Schmidt nudged Jess with his elbow and she cleared her throat. "We don't wanna impose, Nick, but … we would like to go with you if you want. We all cleared it with our bosses. We could fly with you to Chicago. For support, I mean. But of course if you rather want to go alone we understand. It's completely up to you."

"You want to come with me? All of you?"

"Sorry, it's a stupid idea. Just forget about it."

"No. I mean … I don't think it's a stupid idea." Nick looked from face to face, his throat closing up as he was overwhelmed by emotions. "Actually, I would really appreciate it."

~N&J~

The private jet looked like a first-class hotel and Nick sighed as he leaned back in the comfortable chair. It was really great that he could spent the four-hour flight on a private jet and not crammed into an economy class seat, stuck between a whining baby and a snoring man.

Everything still felt like a dream. Like a nightmare he could wake up from any second. He hadn't been close with his dad but nonetheless it seemed that he somehow had left a hole in his heart, a hole that Nick refused to acknowledge. Dealing with his family over the next few days would be enough, he couldn't afford to grieve. No matter how much his dad had sucked as a father he would still miss him. Later he would allow himself to give in to the grief. He just needed to keep it together until he was at home again.

A noise made him look up and the heaviness that pressed against his heart got a little lighter as he saw Jess coming towards him. He didn't know how he deserved to have her as his friend. He was just glad that she was in his life and that she'd decided to come with him, her presence would give him the strength he needed.

"Here." Jess stated as she stopped in front of him, holding a glass towards him. "I know you normally only drink beer but I though you might like something stronger today. I'm sure the whiskey is a good one. This jet has a pretty fancy bar."

"What are you drinking?"

"Vodka Martini. Shaken, not stirred." Her voice dropped an octave as she said. "My name is Day. Jessica Day."

Her Bond imitation coaxed a soft smile out of him but it didn't reach his eyes and only seconds later his smile faltered and a deep frown appeared on his forehead. "Jess, I … you know I didn't get along with my dad very well but … I already miss him. How is this even possible?"

"Because he was your father and you loved him." Jess said softly, sitting down in the seat beside him.

"But he was a con man and he never kept his promises."

"But you still loved him."

"But how could I? He was never there for me when I was a kid. He was never a real father for me."

"Love usually doesn't make sense. It doesn't have to. It's just … love." Nick looked up at her with a startled expression on his face and Jess felt a weird feeling settling in the pit of her stomach as he looked at her thoughtfully, a whirlwind of emotions flashing over his eyes before he nodded slightly. "You're probably right."

On the one hand the kiss had changed so much between them but on the other hand it hadn't changed enough. Maybe they should have just risked it. Risked messing with the loft dynamic. Because making each other jealous by trying to flirt with other people wasn't helping either. But right now, whatever was going on between them wasn't important. The only important thing right now was standing by his side as his friend. Helping him through this tough time.

"Try to get some sleep." Jess told him, reaching for the blanket on the seat next to her to throw it over him. "I'm sure you are not gonna get much after we've landed."

"Jess?" Nick asked softly, pulling the blanket up to his chin.

"Yeah."

"Thanks for coming with me."

"That's what friends do."

"You know, I'm one lucky bastard." Nick stated, his voice hoarse with fatigue.

"Why?"

"For having such great friends. I have no idea how I got so lucky."

"Don't sound so surprised, Nick. You are a great guy." Jess replied, brushing her fingers over his shoulder. "Now go to sleep."

"I think I need to warn you, Jess." Nick said quietly, deciding that he couldn't let her meet his family completely unprepared. "My family … they are a little strange to say the least.

"I can deal with a little strange."

"Just don't let them intimidate you, okay? No matter what they say." His hand shot out from under the blanket and he intertwined his fingers with hers, taking her completely by surprise. His thumb brushed over the back of her hand as he stared at her, his dark eyes more intense than ever. "I'm glad to have you with me. Don't forget that."

"Okay, Nick. Don't worry. I'm sure your family isn't as bad as you think they are."

"Oh, they are, Jess. They are." Nick murmured, closing his eyes. His hand was still curled around hers and Jess stared at their entwined hands for over a minute before she returned her gaze back to his face and seeing his chest rise and fall with even breaths she couldn't help leaning forward and brushing her lips over his. Slipping back into her seat she turned around to face him and her breath hitched in her throat as she whispered. "I'm so glad that I met you, Nicholas Miller. My life wouldn't be the same without you."

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**Normally I reply to each and every review with a PM before I post the next chapter but I just came home from a 12-hour work day without having one break and I'm beat, so let me just say I appreciate every single one of them and I'll try to reply tomorrow. So, thank you very much for the reviews and keep them coming. :-) **

**By the way, I loved last night's ep. ****Gosh, my heart melted as Nick said "**_It was me, Jess. I couldn't help it!_**"**** and then how they looked at each other and Jess' whispered "**_Shut up, Nick!_**" … sigh. Jake and Zooey are just phenomenal. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who wanted to slap Schmidt when he walked into the loft and interrupted their moment. Arghhh! :-)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad that you are enjoying this story despite all the angst.**

**I took the little information we have about Nick's family and spun my own tale around it. Of course it won't happen this way. Especially not one particular conversation and certainly not the end scene of this chapter. I'm not so crazy to hope for that much. But well, this is fanfiction. Where else should our dream scenarios come true, right? :-)**

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**Chapter 3**

Jess felt slightly nervous as they stepped out of the plane into a private area of the airport. After all she would meet Nick's family in a few minutes, at least part of it. She would have wished for other circumstances to make their acquaintance. She would have been more comfortable to meet them back in LA. In their apartment. Surrounded by familiar things. She felt a little lost here.

She'd never been to Chicago before and she shivered as she looked out of the window and saw an icy rain splashing against the glass, snow covering everything outside. She was so not a winter person. Tragedy was easier to bear when the sun was shining instead of this gloomy atmosphere, the dark clouds pressing on her normally so optimistic mood.

Schmidt's voice brought her back out of her reverie and she straightened, telling herself that the weather shouldn't affect her. She needed to be strong for Nick. She couldn't let herself get depressed because the sky wasn't blue but gray.

"Ready to face the family, bro." Schmidt asked quietly.

"Not much of a choice here." Nick replied. "And don't call me bro, Schmidt."

"Sorry, man."

They walked silently through the doors marking the exit and Jess felt suddenly sick to her stomach. She wanted to make a good impression. It was ridiculous to feel that nervous. It wasn't as if he was introducing her to his family as his girlfriend. She was after all only his friend, his roommate. Nothing more.

The moment they were through the doors a man stepped towards them, engulfing Nick tightly. "Good to have you here, Nick."

"It's good to see you, Jamie." Nick replied, hugging his brother back.

"Nick." The other man waiting for them addressed Nick as he stepped away from his brother.

"Bobbie." Nick said, shaking hands with him, a baffled expression crossing his face when the man pulled him into an one-armed hug.

"I'm really sorry about your father." Bobbie told him, patting his back.

"I know." Nick replied, clearing his throat as he turned around to his friends again. "Let me just introduce you to my friends and we can hit the road. You both know Winston and Schmidt and this is our other roommate Jess and her best friend Cece." Nick said, introducing his friends before he gestured towards the two man who had been waiting for them. "Guys, my brother Jamie and my cousin Bobbie."

"Thanks for coming, guys." Jamie said and after everyone expressed their condolences they started to walk to the parking lot, Jamie and Nick talking about what had been done so far considering the funeral and what still needed to be done while the others stayed silent, giving the brothers time to catch up.

Jamie and Bobbie had come with the family van, the only vehicle who could accommodate them all and Winston and Schmidt climbed into the back row while Jess, Cece and Nick sat down in the front row, Bobbie riding shotgun with Jamie at the wheel.

Nick was actually surprised that Jamie and Bobbie were being so civilized. Normally not even five minutes went by without them being at each other's throats. But apparently the peace was only short-lived. The moment they were driving out of the parking lot, Jamie and Bobbie began to argue about which route to take.

"The Mannheim Road is way faster." Jamie argued.

"No, we should take the Tri-State." Bobbie replied.

"We are in the middle of rush-hour. It would take ages to get to Lake Avenue."

"It's still faster as if you are creeping through the backstreets."

"Mannheim Road is not a backstreet."

"Would you just shut up?" Nick almost shouted. His head was already throbbing. "You are getting on my nerves."

"But Nick, we are always taking the Mannheim Road home from the airport." Jamie told him.

"Because you are to dumb to drive on the Tri-State. Too much traffic." Bobbie countered.

"That's it." Nick growled. "Jamie, pull over."

"Why should I pull over?"

"I'm invoking the rights of the older brother." Nick gritted out through clenched teeth.

"Fine." Jamie replied, pulling the car over and the moment they were standing, Nick jerked the door open and jumped out of the car, yanking the front door open.

"Bobbie, get out of the car."

"But I called shotgun." Bobbie replied stubbornly.

"I don't care." Nick huffed out, grabbing his arm and pulling him out. "Get in the back."

Bobbie grumbled something unintelligible before he climbed into the front row but as he sat down and realized that he'd actually made the better deal since he was now sitting beside two beautiful women a big grin appeared on his face. "Hello, ladies. What are you up to tonight? I can show you the city. I know some great bars."

"Bobbie, would you please leave my friends alone." Nick groaned from the front seat, wondering if it would have been better if he would have just stuck his fingers in his ears and let them bicker the whole way home instead of letting Bobbie getting near Jess and Cece.

"What? They might wanna see something of the Chicago night life while they are here."

"Then they will better not go with you." Jamie said. "The bars you know all suck."

"They don't ..." Bobbie said with a raised voice but Nick interrupted him by slapping his hand down on the headrest, his eyes blazing with anger. "I swear if you don't stop it I will gag you both."

Bobbie closed his mouth and folded his arms in front of his chest but fortunately he didn't say a word the rest of the ride and neither did Jamie and Nick was sending a silent thank you skywards for this small miracle.

Only seconds after they drove into the driveway the door was opened and what Jess presumed was Nick's mother stepped out. Nick climbed out of the car, walking quickly towards her, stepping into her open arms.

"Hey, Mom."

"Nicholas."

The rest of the gang shuffled around with their luggage to give Nick and his mother some time alone before they walked down the driveway to join them.

"Winston." Nick's mother called out, pulling him into her arms. "Nice to see you again."

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Miller."

"Thank you, Winston." Nick's mother replied with a hoarse voice before she turned to Schmidt. "Schmidt, nice of you to come."

"Of course, Mrs. Miller." Schmidt said as he was pulled into a hug. "I wouldn't want to let Nick go this hard road alone."

"Mum?" Nick said, bringing his mother's attention to the two women in the group. "This is Cece."

Mrs. Miller turned her gaze to Cece and gave her a warm smile. "I'm sorry for your loss, Mrs. Miller."

"Welcome to our home, Cece."

"And this is Jess."

Jess felt as if a gust of ice cold wind was sweeping over her as his mother's eyes met her own. "Jessica." She said with a clipped voice, shaking Jess' hand almost reluctantly.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Miller. I can't imagine ..." But Nick's mother didn't let her finish the sentence as she turned to her son and grabbed his arm to pull him into the house. "Nicholas, the whole family is here. They are all looking forward to see you again."

Jess didn't know what she had expected but certainly not something like this. She felt as if someone had poured a bucket of ice-cold water over her head. So much for making a good first impression. She didn't know what she had done to upset Nick's mother but she was clearly not welcomed.

~N&J~

"I have to make my round. Say hello to the rest of the family and old friends. Are you gonna be okay if I leave you alone for a few minutes?"

"Of course, Nick. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." Jess said reassuringly, though she felt anything but fine. Winston was chatting with someone on the other side of the room and Cece and Schmidt had disappeared and she really hoped they were not going at it in some empty room.

Her hands tightened around her glass of wine, it was still half full because even though she would like nothing better than to toss down some shots of something stronger she didn't want to look like she was some drunk maniac, so she was only taking small sips which didn't help much with settling down her nervous stomach.

As someone tapped a finger on her shoulder, she almost dropped the glass and swirled around surprised, looking curiously at the old woman standing in front of her who looked older than Methuselah.

"Hello there, dear. I'm Nick's aunt Ruth. Let's sit down and talk a little, shall we?"

Jess followed her silently, not able to utter one word. She felt as if she was led to her own execution. Nick's aunt would probably hate her as much as his mother apparently did.

"I have to tell you they wish I would be the one lying in the casket. They are after my money. They are watching me like hawks, hoping I'll take my last breath sooner rather than later." Ruth told her in a matter-of-fact tone and Jess felt the need to say something.

"Aehm, I'm sure that's not the case. You seem to be a lovely old lady. I mean you are not old. Well, you are old but I'm sure inside you stayed young. Not that you didn't stay young on the outside too … I ..." Jess trailed off, her cheeks turning bright red. She should better shut up before she would dig an even deeper hole but Ruth ignored completely what she'd just said and jumped to another topic.

"Poor Walt never had much. He was too much of a gambler. There is just enough to cover the costs for the funeral. Such a shame. Such a waste of talent." Jess searched her brain for an appropriate reply but Ruth already continued speaking, changing the subject again, making Jess' head spin.

"You have to keep an eye on Seamus over there, the gray haired man wearing this hideous pink sweater, he might spike your tea. He tried to poison me a couple of times but I always toss my tea into the nearest plant when he had been anywhere near me. And George over there, he is a groper, so keep your distance from him."

"I will." Jess said slowly, wondering what the rest of the guest's quirks might be because apparently Nick seemed to be the only sane person in his whole family what was admittedly a little surprising. Not that she'd ever doubted his sanity but he did have some weird quirks. But compared to the rest of the family he seemed to be a paragon of virtue.

"You are good for Nicky." Ruth suddenly interrupted her thoughts and she turned her attention back to Nick's aunt. "He needs a strong woman and you might look as if you don't eat more than a sparrow but I can see it in your eyes. Very strong indeed. Nicky is really lucky to have found someone like you. You are gonna make such pretty babies."

"Babies?" Jess stuttered, completely baffled. "Aehh, Nick and I we aren't ... I mean I don't … we are not gonna have ... we are only friends."

She wasn't lying. Because they were only friends. She might want him to be more than only her friend but right now he was only her friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Only friends? I don't think so." Ruth replied, wagging one finger in front of Jess' face. "My eyes might not be the best anymore, kid, but I can still see when two people are in love."

Jess let out a nervous chuckle, shaking her head vehemently. She would not let Nick's aunt believe that there was more between Nick and her. His mother was already not very fond of her, though she didn't know what she did to make his mother acting so cold towards her, but she definitely didn't want the rumor to spread that Nick and she were romantically involved. Because they weren't. Maybe they would never be more than friends.

"We are not in love. I mean I do love him. Of course I do. As a friend. A completely platonic love." Jess said quickly but Nick's aunt was piercing her with a scrutinizing gaze and she couldn't help blurting out. "Well, there was this one kiss but it was more of a dare. Though it was a pretty great kiss, I have to admit that. But that's in the past. It was awkward at the beginning but we figured it out and everything is back to normal now. Except of course his dad just died so nothing is normal right now but ..." Needing to pause to take in a breath, she gulped hard as she saw the knowing smirk on the face of Nick's aunt. "Okay, that's definitely too much information. I'm sure you don't wanna hear anything about it. So I'm just gonna shut up now."

Jess startled when Nick's aunt leaned forward and put her hand over hers, squeezing it slightly. "I hope you two will pull your heads out of the sand sooner than later. Trying to deny your feelings doesn't make them go away. Take it from me. I know what I'm talking about. You don't get as old as I without learning a thing or two about love." Ruth's smile broadened upon seeing the 'deer caught in the headlights' expression on the face of Nick's friend. This woman was more in love with her nephew than she realized and judging from the way he was looking at her Nick was also in love with her. They obviously just needed a little push in the right direction. "Take my advice, kid. Tell him how you feel. Life is too short to waste it. You don't wanna wake up one day and realize that you missed your chance because you were too afraid to face your feelings."

"I … we … Nick ..." Jess stuttered, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"Ah, there he is." Ruth said loudly and Jess looked up to see Nick coming towards them. "Nicky, I had a lovely conversation with your friend. She kept me company. But I need to go talk to your mother now." She slowly stood up and turned around, patting Jess' cheek. "Nice to meet you, dear."

"Nice to meet you, too, Ma'am."

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Nick stated the moment his aunt was out of earshot. "I know Aunt Ruth can be a little weird sometimes. I hope she wasn't too much trouble. She can make some pretty inappropriate comments sometimes."

"No, she wasn't any trouble at all. She is a lovely lady."

"Then why do you look like you might run to the bathroom any second to puke your guts out?"

"Her persona is just a little overwhelming." Jess replied evasively but one look into his face told her that he wouldn't let her off the hook that easily so she decided to give him only the cliff notes. "She actually thinks that we two are together. But don't worry, I set things straight. I told her that we are only friends."

Jess almost let out a sigh of relief as Cece and Schmidt appeared around the corner and walked towards them. "We'll better get going, Nick. We need to settle down in the motel and I'm sure there are a ton of things for you to do here. See you tomorrow?"

"Of course. You might wanna lie down early. I'll see you all tomorrow."

"And if you need anything ..."

"I'll call."

~N&J~

Jess was bone tired but even after taking a hot shower for nearly twenty minutes, surprisingly having hot water for such a long amount of time, and slipping under the covers to read a book until her eyes would fall shut, she couldn't find sleep.

At midnight a knock on her door startled her and she called out softly. "Who is it?"

"It's me, Jess." Nick's voice came through the door and Jess jumped up from the bed and hurried to the door, fearing the worst. Something bad must have happened. He wouldn't stand in front of her door otherwise, would he?

"Nick?" Jess yanked the door open, her eyes immediately locking with his, detecting the dark shadows under his eyes. "Everything okay?"

"I just ... I couldn't sleep and I thought ... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry. I'll just go."

Before he could walk away Jess grabbed his arm and pulled him into the room, closing the door firmly behind him. "I told you, Nick. I'm here for you. Whatever you need."

"Where is Cece?" Nick looked around searchingly. He had assumed Jess would share a room with her but there were no signs that someone besides Jess was in the room.

"In room 104." As Nick raised his eyebrows in question, Jess had to smile. "With Schmidt."

"With Schmidt?" Nick asked surprised. "When did this start again?"

"After the marriage convention."

"So the two are together again?"

"They say they are not but they actually are." Jess replied, shrugging her shoulders. "Wherever that may lead."

"Yeah, they are an odd pair."

"That they are." Jess threw him a smile before she remembered that she still didn't know why he really came to her room in the middle of the night. "Why are you here, Nick?"

"I couldn't sleep and it might sound ridiculous but I missed you. Since the moment I got the news about my dad you were always only a few feet away. I just needed to turn around if I wanted to see you." Realizing how pathetic that sounded, Nick added hastily. "I couldn't sleep and I just needed to see you. But I don't wanna disturb your sleep. Go back to bed, Jess."

Jess looked after him as he walked to the door and the words tumbled out of her mouth, words that surprised her almost as much as him. "Do you wanna stay?"

"Stay?" Nick asked softly as he turned back to her.

"I mean ... you can sleep here." Jess clarified, gesturing towards the bed. "It's a king size bed and I'll make sure to set the alarm so that you won't be late for the family breakfast."

"You sure?" Nick said, searching her face. "I don't want to bother ..."

"Nick, I meant it." Jess interrupted him softly. "Stay!"

"Okay."

Without saying another word they both slipped under the covers and Jess turned off the lights and rolled around so that she was facing him. After her eyes had adjusted to the darkness she could see the outline of his body under the covers. She couldn't see his face but she had seen the forlorn expression in his eyes only a minute ago and she was just too tired to talk herself out of it as she turned her back to him and scooted over to his side, closing the gap between them.

She could hear him taking in a sharp breath as her body made contact with his but she decided to just ignore it and searched with her hand for his. Intertwining her fingers with his she pulled his arm over her body and up her chest so that he had no other choice than to spoon her.

Jess didn't care that this position was way too intimate for two roommates who were supposed to be only friends, because Nick's aunt had been right. She wasn't sure how Nick felt about her but the conversation with his aunt had definitely opened her eyes. She didn't want to be a coward. She didn't want to wake up one day and regret that she never gave them a chance.

Only fifteen hours ago she wanted to rip his head off because he had slept with another woman. Fifteen hours ago she didn't want to have anything to do with him. But that was fifteen hours ago. The events of the last fifteen hours had definitely changed her mind. She still wanted that the kiss meant something. But now was not the time to address those feelings. Drawing their entwined hands up to her chin, she pressed a kiss against his knuckles and whispered.

"Go to sleep, Nick."

Nick was lying stock-still, afraid to even breathe normally. He hadn't been that near to Jess since the kiss a few weeks ago and he didn't know how to handle the emotions her nearness stirred up in him. But when he felt her lips pressing a soft kiss against his hand and heard her whispered words telling him to go to sleep he relaxed into the embrace, pulling her even closer, his other arm slipping over her pillow to find a more comfortable position.

"Good night, Jessica." Jess smiled softly as she felt him relax behind her. She would not think about the fact that lying in his arms felt so right, that she wanted to stay in his arms forever. Now was not the time. "Good night, Nicholas."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews and the alerts!  
**

**I've wrecked my brain to come up with a reason why Nick's mother doesn't like Jess because we already know from spoilers that she isn't gonna be fond of Jess and only one reason came to mind. But I'm sure no matter what reason they'll give us on the show it will make perfect sense to me then! :-)**

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**Chapter 4**

"Hey." Nick spoke hoarsely as Jess turned in his arms after she'd stopped the alarm. He'd actually slept. Having Jess in his arms had calmed him down, had made him forget for a few hours what was going on in his life right now.

"Hey." Jess replied quietly, giving him a soft smile. Her heart actually skipped a beat as she looked at his slightly disheveled form and she already lifted her hand to trail her fingers along his scruff before she realized that she probably shouldn't do it. Sleeping in each other's arms was already way over the line and she didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.

"It's time." Nick said almost reluctantly. He didn't want to get up, he could lay here with her by his side forever. He actually had to hold himself back to not lean over and press a good-morning kiss against her lips.

"I know." Jess stated, throwing the covers off and slipping out of his arms before she would do something really stupid. Like kissing him.

"Jess?"

"Yes?" Jess turned around, looking at him questioningly.

"Are you gonna go with me?" Nick asked quietly. He didn't want to go to the breakfast alone. It didn't feel right to have to face his family without her.

"To your family breakfast?" As Nick nodded, Jess continued. "I don't know if ..."

"I want you there." Nick interrupted her hastily. "I … I need … I would really appreciate it, Jess."

"Sure. Of course. I'll go with you." Jess said. "Would you give me a minute. I'll just need to get dressed and brush my teeth."

"Right. Sure." Nick replied. "I'll wait outside."

~N&J~

Everyone was really nice to her. Except for Nick's mom. It wasn't plain obvious. It was more the subtle things. It was actually so subtle that Jess asked herself if it wasn't only a figment of her imagination. Maybe she just imagined the coldness because Nick meant a lot to her and she wanted his mother to like her. But then she caught another ice stare from his mother, one that could freeze a whole lake and she was sure that his mother really didn't like her.

Jess averted her gaze to the scrambled eggs on her plate, trying to look like she was enjoying her breakfast. She was here because Nick asked her to be here. She was doing it for him. It didn't matter that his mother didn't like her. He wanted her here.

Nick looked at Jess thoughtfully, wondering why she was so awfully calm. Something wasn't right. He knew she could be serious. After all his father's death was a serious matter but she hardly said a word since they arrived and he started to get worried. This was so unlike Jess.

If he wouldn't have studied her so closely he would have probably missed it but he caught the glimpse Jess shot towards his mother before she looked back down at her plate, fidgeting nervously on her chair. Furrowing his brows, he looked at his mother, a deep scowl appeared on his forehead as he saw the cold look in her eyes as she watched Jess.

Nick was watching them throughout the whole breakfast, getting more confused by the second. His mother clearly had something against Jess and Nick had no idea why. As far as he knew they hardly talked to each other. When his mother stood up after breakfast and said something about making a phone call he followed her, determined to find out what was wrong.

"Mom, what's the matter?"

"What do you mean?" Bonnie turned around, surprised to see her oldest son standing in front of her with a somehow angry expression on his face.

"What did Jess do to you?" Nick asked accusingly. "Why are you so cold towards her?"

"Oh come on, Nicholas." Bonnie scoffed. "I think it's obvious."

"Actually I have no clue." Nick replied, narrowing his eyes dangerously. "She is one of my best friends, Mom. She is nothing than supportive."

"Oh, give me a break."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You only have to look at her big blue eyes and all this cute behavior." Bonnie explained, worried about the obvious blindness of her son when it came to this woman. "She is only using you."

"How could you say that?" Nick asked incredulously, his voice taking on a sharp edge. "You don't know her."

"Open your eyes, Nicholas. She is like Caroline. She will just hurt you."

"Jess would never hurt me." Nick snapped. "She is nothing like Caroline. Because she actually knows me. I don't have to tell her how I feel because she knows me better than I know me myself. You have no right to judge her. You have no idea what a great person she is."

"Yeah, I'm sure she makes you believe that." Bonnie said, the sarcasm clear in her voice.

"You have no right ..." Nick started to speak, almost shouting, but his mother interrupted him as she looked over his shoulder, her eyes turning cold. "Jessica, can we help you with something?"

"Ahh, I was only … I just need to use the bathroom." Jess stumbled and Nick swirled around, cursing inwardly that Jess had to overhear their argument. She was eerily pale and he could detect the hurt in her eyes. "Jess, I ..."

"I like you." Jamie's voice suddenly came from behind her and Jess turned around, the shock about the venom in Bonnie's voice making her feel a little dizzy.

"You know, my mom doesn't give a shit about me." Bobbie threw in. "She doesn't care who I'm banging. So how about drinks tonight?"

"Get the hell away from her, Bobbie." Nick growled, pulling his cousin away from Jess.

"Easy." Bobbie replied, holding up his hands. "It's not as if you called dibs on her."

"Called dibs?" Nick asked, anger bubbling up in him. "You are talking about one of my best friends here. Get out of my sight before I'll punch you."

"Nick, calm down." Jess said quietly, her hand firmly around his arm in case she needed to hold him back.

"Calm down? I'm not gonna calm down. They were insulting you, Jess."

"It's your family, Nick."

"I don't care." Nick huffed out, pulling her with him towards his room, closing the door firmly behind them.

"Nick, your father just died." Jess said quietly. She didn't want him to have a fight with his mother or his cousin because of her. This wasn't the time to start a family feud. "Maybe it's better if I'd just stay away from the service."

"No, Jess." Nick said, his voice taking on a pleading tone. "I need you there."

"I just don't think it's such a good idea." Jess told him softly. "Your mom clearly doesn't want me there. I don't want to start a riot at your father's funeral, Nick."

"Jess, please don't ..."

"I'll better go. Talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay." Nick said quietly. He didn't know what he could say to make her stay. He couldn't force her to stay. But it seemed as if a huge weight settled on his shoulders as he watched her walking through the hallway and out of the house. How was he supposed to get through this without her?

~N&J~

Nick was standing in the first row, his hands curled into fists beside his body. He was on the brink of losing it. In front of all these people. He hadn't realized how much Jess was holding him upright until she wasn't there anymore. He couldn't blame her. His family was insane and he knew that she didn't like upsetting people. She did what she thought was right.

He hadn't seen her since she'd left yesterday afternoon, only talked to her over the phone. He hadn't slept well. He'd stood up a couple of times, his hand already on the doorknob, wanting to just drive over to the motel to be with her again, to fall asleep in her arms again. But every single time he'd talked himself out of it. He didn't want to pressure her into doing something she wasn't comfortable with. Because if he would have shown up at her room she would have felt obligated to go with him to the service.

Nick had to hold himself back to not walk over to his mother and snap at her. He was at his father's funeral and all he could think about was that his mother's behavior was keeping the person he needed the most right now away from him. He felt the rage rising up in his chest and he didn't think he would be able to keep himself from making a scene in the middle of the service.

But then a hand suddenly stroked over his curled fist, making him almost jump out of his skin. As he looked down he saw Jess and without even knowing what he was doing he uncurled his hand and grabbed hers, squeezing her fingers tightly, well aware that the death grip he had on her hand might be hurting her but the relief that washed over him upon seeing her almost made his knees gave out under him. She was here. She came.

"Jess?" Her name came like a question over his lips. He wasn't sure if she was really standing beside him or if his mind was just playing tricks on him because he wanted her so desperately to be here.

"I realized that I can't give your mother the power to keep me away from you when you need me, Nick." Jess said softly. "You are one of my best friends. If I would be in your position I would want you next by my side."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

He could get through this. Jess was here. Through the whole service she was holding his hand, giving him the strength he needed to not embarrass himself in front of the whole family. Because he didn't want to cry. Not here. Every time the tears threatened to fall he concentrated on the feeling of her fingers between his and gulped the tears down. He didn't know what he would do without her. He couldn't imagine a life without her. He would never let her go again.


	5. Chapter 5

**I think I read somewhere that Jess is gonna set Nick's mother straight but I decided to take a slightly different course in this story. **

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**Chapter 5**

Bonnie was narrowing her eyes as she saw that Jessica had approached her son. She'd thought she'd gotten rid of her. She had to admit that woman showed some balls. Coming to the funeral despite knowing that she wasn't really welcomed here. But as she took a closer look her features softened as she saw the looks the two shared, as she saw how relieved Nicholas looked that Jessica was here. But it was the way Jessica was looking at her son what made her change her mind about her.

She might have misjudged the woman who was living with her son. She'd really believed she was one of those women who was all cute and helpless on the outside but a false snake on the inside, ready to swallow whoever was dumb enough to get too close. But she couldn't deny that they apparently shared a real deep connection and if she had seen Jessica looking at her son like that before she would have known that she really cared about him. They were really friends, though the looks also revealed to her that there seemed to be much more between them than a mere friendship. She apparently needed to apologize to Jessica. She wasn't the vindictive bitch she had thought she was.

~N&J~

"Jessica, can I talk to you for a minute." Jess swirled around surprised as she heard Nick's mother addressing her. She'd actually wanted to go back to the motel after the funeral but Nick hadn't let go of her hand and so she'd accompanied him back to the reception held at their house. She didn't feel comfortable standing in his home again and she'd almost held him back as he'd told her that he needed to go to the bathroom. But she wouldn't shy away from a confrontation, so she straightened and steeled herself for whatever his mother might throw at her next. She definitely didn't expect the words that came out of her mouth though. "I owe you an apology."

"Me? An apology?" Jess asked, completely baffled. "I don't know why you want to apologize to me, Mrs. Miller."

"I wanted to apologize for my rude behavior." Bonnie explained. "My only excuse is that Nicholas is my first-born and I love him. I'm getting a little overprotective from time to time. But I'm not above admitting that I made apparently a mistake. You aren't out to hurt him."

"I would never hurt him, Mrs. Miller." Jess replied quietly. "Well, at least not intentionally. We do engage in shouting matches from time to time and it can get a little heated."

"Yes, Nicholas can get extremely passionate if he wants to prove his point." Bonnie said, a small smile playing over her lips.

"Yes, he can." Jess said, smiling back.

"Jessica, can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure."

"LA is very far away and I hardly see him over the year." Bonnie said, watching Jess carefully. "Would you take care of him for me? I know it's asking a lot but it would be a huge relief if I would know that someone is looking out for him."

"I always keep my promises, Mrs. Miller." Jess replied firmly.

"What do you mean?" Bonnie asked, not sure what Jessica was talking about.

"I already promised his dad the same and I intend to keep my promise." Jess explained.

"What did Walt say?" Bonnie asked, her voice shaking slightly as she said the name of her diseased husband.

"He asked me to keep an eye on Nick."

"Thank you, Jessica." Bonnie replied with a husky voice, pulling Jess into a hug. "It's a huge relief to know that Nick has such good friends."

"Your son is a great man, Mrs. Miller." Jess told her, a little overwhelmed with the change in Bonnie's behavior. Just a few minutes ago she was convinced that Nick's mother wasn't very fond of her and now it felt as if she was welcoming her into the family, putting Nick's well-being into her hands.

"And he is lucky to have you." Bonnie replied but before Jess could ask her what she meant with this statement she was called away. However, Jess couldn't shake the feeling that Bonnie wasn't talking about her only being Nick's friend.

~N&J~

"What did Jess and you talk about?" Nick asked as he approached his mother after the reception to say his good-byes before they would drive to the airport to get on a plane back to Los Angeles.

"Nothing important." Bonnie replied, a grin spreading out on her face as she added. "She is a keeper, Nicholas."

"What?"

"Jessica." Bonnie elaborated, a laugh almost escaping her as he saw the baffled expression on her son's face. "She is an amazing woman."

"I'm confused." Nick said, eying his mother warily, trying to determine if she had maybe a little too much to drink. "Just yesterday you were telling me that she is no good for me."

"I've changed my mind." Bonnie told him matter-of-factly.

"Why? What happened?"

"I saw how she is looking at you."

"How is she looking at me?"

"For what it's worth, Nicholas, you have my blessing."

"Blessing for what?" Nick asked, exasperated. His mother was talking in riddles and he was getting more and more confused by the second.

"Have a nice flight, Nicholas. Go home with your friends."

"What blessing?"

"I love you, Nicholas." Bonnie said quietly, pulling him into a tight hug.

"I love you, too, Mum." Nick replied softly but couldn't resist to ask again as he pulled back. "But what were you talking about?"

"Just promise me when the time is right you are gonna tell her." Bonnie said cryptically. "Don't be scared."

"Tell who what?" Nick was almost shouting now, the evasiveness of his mother driving him crazy.

"Jessica."

"What should I tell her?" Nick gritted out through clenched teeth.

"I really love you, Nicholas, but sometimes you can be really dense."

"Excuse me?"

"You should tell her. Before it's too late."

"Too late for what?" Nick asked frustrated, not hoping for his mother to give him a clear answer.

"She is not gonna wait forever, Nicholas."

"Jess?"

"You should tell her that you are in love with her." Bonnie said, smiling softly when she saw Nick flinch in surprise.

"I'm not …" Nick started to speak but stopped in mid-sentence when he saw the knowing expression on his mother's face. "Is it that obvious?"

"I'm your mother. I can read you like a book. I knew the moment she stepped over our threshold."

"That's why you were so awful to her?" Nick asked, the initial behavior of his mother suddenly making much more sense.

"I thought she would hurt you. That she would be another Caroline." Bonnie nodded. "But I'm convinced that it won't happen."

"What makes you so sure that she won't hurt me?" Nick said curiously.

"Because she loves you."

"Yes, as a friend." Nick stated, trying not to get his hopes up. Of course Jess loved him. As a friend. Nothing more. "Believe me, Mom. I know how lucky I am."

"No, not only as a friend, Nicholas." Bonnie said. "She is in love with you."

"She is a very caring person, Mom. She would have done the same for anyone else in our group."

"Probably. But I'm pretty sure you're special. Don't tell me that there weren't times when there was more between you two than mere friendship." Bonnie said, smiling softly as Nick stiffened, clearly thinking about all the times there had been much more between them. "Ahhh, see. That's what I'm talking about."

"Mom, I don't want to screw it up." Nick said, barely above a whisper. "She is too important to me."

"Love is scary, kiddo. Be brave. Your heart already belongs to her. Do you really wanna live your life with her as only your friend? This is only half living, son. Life is too short. You don't want to have any regrets."

"So I should just risk it and tell her?"

"Yes, you should."

"Thank you, Mom." Nick said, giving his mother another hug. "I'll promise to make it home for Christmas in time this year."

"Oh, I'm sure Jessica will make sure of it."

~N&J~

The flight had been uneventful. He'd even dozed off for a little while, miraculously there had been no snoring men or crying babies. But now he was standing in his room. Alone. The silence pressing down on him. The last days had been packed full of decisions that needed to be made, family members that wanted to talk to him. This was the first time he had more than a few minutes for himself and the grief he'd been able to bury deep down slammed into him. He would never see his father again.

Nick pressed his eyes shut, taking in some shallow breaths, his hands curled into fists, his nails digging into his skin. He feared that he wouldn't stop crying if he once started and he wasn't sure if he could deal with a full-blown meltdown right now.

Suddenly he heard a soft knock on the door and he croaked out a hoarse 'come in', glad for the interruption. But when he turned around and saw Jess standing in the door, looking at him with her big blue eyes, his throat closed up and he gulped hard, his hands starting to shake beside his body.

"It's about time." Jess said softly, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her.

"Jess, I don't want … I'm afraid … I just can't ..." Nick struggled to explain.

"It's not healthy to keep it all in, Nick." Jess told him. "You're mourning. You have a right to cry."

"But I don't want to."

"Are you afraid to cry in front of me?" Jess asked quietly. "I can get Schmidt or Winston if it would make you feel better."

"Jess, don't leave." Nick grabbed her hand, not wanting her to leave him alone. "Please."

The moment she touched his face, her hand cupping his cheek, Nick took in a shuddering breath and closed his eyes, struggling to keep his emotions in check. But when he opened his eyes again and looked in hers, full of understanding, the dam broke and the tears pricked at the back of his eyes and his vision began to swim as the tears pooled in his eyes.

"Come here." Jess said quietly, pulling him into her arms and Nick wrapped his arms around her, crushing her into his body as the sobs wracked his body. "It's okay, Nick. Let it all out. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

She was holding him tightly until the sobs subsided and without saying a word she pulled him towards the bed, throwing the cover away so that he could sit down. Nick could just watch her silently as she leaned down to take off his shoes, his whole body raw with emotions, his heart swelling in his chest with the love he felt for the woman kneeling in front of him.

"Try to get some sleep, Nick." Jess whispered as she pulled the cover over him. Leaning down she pressed a kiss on his forehead and Nick closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of her lips against his skin. He needed to find the courage to tell her how he felt about her. Because his mother was right. He wanted to share his life with Jess. He wanted her to be more than one of his best friends.

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**I was really, really happy when I read about the renewal. Another season full of Nick and Jess goodness. Yiphee! But waiting another week for 2x19? That's so not cool. At least the 'dancing' spoiler put a silly grin on my face. I might write a speculative one-shot about this scene before the ep airs. I suppose it's the 'First Date' ep. Knowing my muse it's highly probable. :-)**


	6. Chapter 6

**First off, thanks for the reviews. My life is a little crazy right now, so I hadn't have the time to get back to you. But I really appreciate every single one of them.**

**Okay, guys. This is the final chapter. I am a hopeless romantic so expect a sappy ending. :-)**

**If you haven't seen the movie **_Silver Linings Playbook_** I recommend to watch the final scene on YouTube. A certain scene in this chapter is way more powerful when you know what Nick and Jess are talking about. **

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**Chapter 6**

Everything had gotten back to normal. Or at least it seemed that way. Four weeks after they'd come back from Chicago Jess walked into the kitchen where Nick and Schmidt were having a conversation and her heart swelled as she heard the first real laugh from Nick since his father had died.

He would be okay. But she wasn't. She'd thought she would give him time to mourn his father before she would talk about her feelings but the days went by and it got harder and harder to say something. She didn't know how to approach the subject. It seemed as if Nick was content with the way things were and she was afraid she might be ruining everything by telling him how she really felt about him.

She'd almost convinced herself that she should be happy with having him in her life at all, that it didn't matter that she wanted more. Most of the times it worked. The times it didn't she was hardly able to breathe, the loss of what could have been almost suffocating her.

She had another one of her self-pitying phases, one of those phases where she pitied herself for falling in love with a man she couldn't have as Cece stormed into her room without knocking, yanking her out of her reveries.

"Okay, girl. Time to get ready." Cece said, excitement clear in her voice.

"Ready for what?" Jess asked with a flat voice. She wasn't in the mood to go out.

"We have a surprise for you." Cece replied.

"We? Who is we?"

"Come on. Let's get you all dressed up."

"Why do I need to get dressed up?" Jess asked, furrowing her brows in confusion. "Cece? What's going on?"

"You'll be blown away. It's … it's the most romantic thing I've ever heard of."

"What are you talking about?"

"Get up, Jess. We don't have time for questions."

Jess grumbled something incoherently as she stood up from the bed. There was no point in arguing with Cece when she was like this. She would just get dressed and get whatever was going on over with so that she could get back into her bed to drown in her self-pity.

She had to admit as she was looking in the mirror that she looked fantastic after Cece was finished with her. For one second a smile appeared on her face as she imagined Nick admiring her in that dress but then the smile faltered as she realized that it might hurt too much to see his approval of her attire if she couldn't act on her feelings.

As Cece stepped behind her, Jess met her eyes in the mirror almost blurting out everything but she was stopped as Cece raised her hands, a silk scarf of hers in her hands.

"What's that for?" Jess asked.

"I told you it's a surprise."

"Do you really need to blindfold me?"

"Yep, I do."

Cece was still adjusting the scarf over her eyes when Jess heard the door open and she turned around to the sound, wondering who might have walked into the room.

"Ready?" Nick's voice drifted to her ears, startling her.

"Nick? What … why … I don't ..." Jess stumbled, reaching for the blindfold but Nick's hands stopped her and he said quietly. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"Then follow me." Nick told her, taking her hand in his as they walked out of her room and through the loft. Jess couldn't help getting excited. Cece had said something about the most romantic thing. Could it be that he felt the same way than she?

"What's on the roof?" Jess asked as they started to walk up the stairs.

"You'll see." Nick said evasively. "Careful. Step."

Jess shivered slightly as the cold wind hit her naked skin but she forgot about the coldness the moment Nick removed the scarf from her eyes. Her breath caught in her throat as her gaze fell on the tent right in front of her and her mouth dropped open when Nick walked her into it. There were flowers everywhere. A whirlwind of colors and not the clichéd roses but daisies and daffodils. Her throat constricted as she saw the table, romantically set with a candelabra with lit candles sitting in the middle of it, a bottle of champagne waiting to be opened. Several heaters were spread over the room to keep the chillness of the air outside away.

Turning around to Nick, her eyes widened with surprise as she saw what he was wearing. "You're wearing a tux."

"It's only rented."

"You're wearing a tux!" Jess whispered, completely overwhelmed. "You … you did all of this?"

"I had help. You know I suck at planning."

"Nick, I ..." Her lip began to quiver and she bit her tongue, the emotions almost getting the better of her as tears welled up in her eyes. "What … why ..."

Nick stepped closer, reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulling out a white envelope, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I wrote you a letter."

"You wrote me a letter?" Jess asked baffled, her eyes flitting back and forth between the envelope in his hand and his eyes.

"Yeah, I did. About a week ago."

"Don't do this, Nick?" Jess whispered, her voice breaking on his name.

"Do what?" Nick asked quietly.

"I'm … I'm gonna cry … you're … you can't ..."

"I can't what?"

"How do you even know?" Jess croaked out, wondering if this was all a dream.

"It's one of your favorite movies, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is."

"Bradley Cooper can dance." Nick said, giving her a soft smile.

"Yes, he can."

"I can't."

"I know."

"You know you have to start reading so that I can interrupt you to finish it." Nick told her, holding the envelope up and Jess reached for it with trembling hands, almost not able to open it.

As she finally was able to pull out the one single sheet of white paper she looked up at him and Nick just nodded towards the paper. Gulping hard, Jess unfolded it slowly, the letters swimming in front of her eyes and she pressed her eyes shut for a second, one tear slipping out of her eye before she started with a shaking voice. "Dear Jessica … "

"You're not supposed to cry before I interrupted you." Nick said softly, as Jess stopped, apparently not able to continue reading. Jess let out a nervous chuckle, wiping away the tear before her eyes went back to the letter.

"You're the best thing ..." Jess continued before Nick interrupted her and she held her breath as she stared up at him, listening to his words. Words she had thought she would never hear from him.

" … that ever happened to me. You're one of my best friends, you are always there when I need you. In my darkest hours you are the silver lining on the horizon. You are the one who keeps me going when everything around me seems to be crashing down on me. Thank you. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for being you." Nick raised his hands, cupping her face before he added with a slightly hoarse voice. "I love you, and I'm sorry that it took me so long to realize it."

"Am I allowed to cry now?" Jess whispered, leaning into his touch.

"Sure, go ahead." Nick smiled softly, his thumbs brushing over her cheeks. When she didn't say anything he got slightly nervous and asked. "So, are you gonna say anything?"

"Okay!" Jess mumbled, raising up on her tiptoes to press a kiss against his lips, her hands coming up around his neck.

"I know, I was the one who started the whole reenacting the scene from the movie, but ..." Nick said quietly, leaning his forehead against hers.

"You wanna hear it." Jess spoke softly.

"It's pathetic and I don't want you to feel obligated to ..." Nick began, but Jess interrupted him by pressing her lips against his once again before she leaned back in his arms. "Shut up, Nick."

"Okay."

"I didn't have the time to prepare a speech, so I'm just gonna go from the top off my head and I'm not sure if it'll make any sense but …" Jess took in a deep breath, her hands settling against his chest as she continued. "Thank you. Thank you for kissing me. I don't know if I would have ever admitted it to myself that you mean so much more to me if you hadn't taken that first step. Thank you for having the courage to cross the line and I'm sorry for denying my feelings for you for so long." Smiling up at him shakily, she continued with a soft voice. "I'm so lucky. I've fallen in love with my best friend. I already know everything about you, Nick. There won't be a rude awakening down the road when the rose-colored glasses come down because there are no rose-colored glasses there. I know your flaws, I know your strengths, I know your weaknesses and yeah, you're driving me nuts most of the times but … I love you. I love everything about you. I wouldn't want you any other way. Thank you for being you."

"You love me?" Nick asked, his voice hoarse with emotions.

"Yeah, I do." Jess replied, her lips curling up in a lopsided grin. "I love you, Nicholas Miller. And I'm scared like hell because Schmidt is right. If this goes all to crap ..."

"It won't." Nick cut her off.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I fell in love with my best friend." Nick spoke, his smile matching hers. "This relationship … we already start with a very solid foundation, Jess. I don't know how to explain it but … I know I've screwed up everything in my life so far, that I need to pull my life together but … for two years you are at my side and you've already seen me at my worst and you didn't run away. No matter what happens in the future, Jess, I'm not gonna lose you. I won't tell you that we won't fight because we will and I'm sure I will do things that are gonna hurt you. But at the end of the day I will never stop loving you."

"So, you think our love is strong enough to last forever?"

"I know it sounds ridiculously sappy but yes, I do." Nick replied and Jess lost the battle against the tears. "I'm sorry … I just … the last weeks were just too much ..."

"Come here." Nick said, pulling her in his arms and Jess buried her face in his neck, wrapping her arms tightly around him. "You don't have to be strong all the time, Jess. You've gotten me through one of the toughest times of my life. You were my rock and if I wouldn't have loved you already before that I would have fallen head over heels in love with you then. I can never thank you enough for what you did for me. Never. The only thing I can promise you is that I will do everything in my power to make you happy. Because you deserve to be happy."

"Don't give me the speech that you think you might not be good enough to make me happy, Nick." Jess huffed, leaning back to look into his face. "I'm gonna slap you if you say it."

"That would be kind of contradictorily, wouldn't it? I just told you I think our love will last forever."

Jess smiled up at him, leaning her head back against his shoulder, just reveling in the feeling of being in his arms. Her gaze fell on the letter on the table where she had dropped it early.

"Can I frame this?" Jess asked, pointing towards the letter on the table.

"You wanna frame it?"

"Well, it's something our grandchildren would want to see sometime."

"Our grandchildren? You want to have kids with me?" Nick asked, his voice full of wonder.

"Of course I want a bunch of mini Millers who are running around in the loft, trying to drive Schmidt nuts." Jess grinned.

"I really like the sound of that." Nick said, returning her smile.

"Me too."

"So this is for real?" Nick asked quietly. "We are really doing this?"

"Yes, Nicholas. We are really doing this."

"I love you." Nick whispered, leaning down to capture her lips in another kiss. "I love you too, Nick."

They weren't fooling themselves into thinking that they would live happily ever after from now on. But one thing was for certain … they would never look back at their lives, regretting that they never crossed the line.

**The End**

_Love is passion. Obsession._

_Someone you can't live without._

_Someone you fall head over heels for._

_Find someone you can love like crazy, _

_and will love you the same way back._

_Listen to your heart._

_No sense in life without this._

_To make the journey without falling deeply in love, _

_you haven't lived a life at all._

_You have to try,_

_because if you haven't tried,_

_then you haven't lived._

_~Meet Joe Black~_

* * *

**Thank you to everyone who read this story, reviewed it, favorited it, alerted it. I enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Until the next time!**

**And now can it be Tuesday already? I can't wait to see the ep! It's going to be awesome! :-)**


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